The Roller Coaster of Beginning

 This has been a season of trying a lot of new things! Sometimes it has been a calm lake experience where I can see far into the distance of a beautiful sunrise. Other times it has been a fast-flowing river demanding careful attention and swift manoeuvring with no time to rest and reflect. It has been more lonely and exhausting than I expected. Teaching piano for the first time to 12 young students, leading a weekly singing class for 5-year olds, and assuming the role of coordinator for a local arts organization is the new territory that I am discovering.
 
Energy out needs to be balanced with energy in.
 
I’ve also been meeting with people to discuss the possibilities of community music programs within their organization – generally being met with a supportive spirit, but without the resources or infrastructure to make it a reality.  The open-concept of community music requires ambition to set into place. Networking, hustling and sowing seeds, and starting somewhere. This will take time.
 
In all circumstances, I can never be fully prepared.  The unexpected, unpredictable happens.  Children do not have breakfast and can’t focus longer than 3 minutes in a group.  Kids are bullied at school and come to piano lessons with resistance to following directions. Circumstances are not necessarily a reflection of me and my abilities.  Even still, I have to have a willingness to look stupid as I explore possibilities, new ideas, new experiences.
 
My hope is that with time and experience these brand new, unknown spaces become less terrifying. My tolerance for the ambiguity and unknown increases and is met with more calm.
 
This week I experienced that calm. In preparing for and waking up to a music-making engagement at a new place with new people, I started from a place of calm. An inner confidence and knowledge that I can do this work, and I know more or less what to expect. 
                                                                                                                     
Having a long-term vision has helped me to stay on course:
Promoting a culture of participatory music making for all ages and all abilities, where participants are connected, confident, curious and carefree.
 
What does your roller coaster look like, and how do you manage your in periods of low energy and enthusiasm?